Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica
Wednesdays @ 10:00pm EST on MTV

Episode Guide
This is a spoiler section, so if you haven't watched the show (and plan too), DO NOT read any further.

episode 16
aired 2/25/04

synopsis: la di da...Jessica is humming a Christmas carol...and then plop...there goes here cell phone onto the floor.

The episode proceeds with Nick's recording of a Christmas song...and Jessica says she hates it. Nick, obviously, isn't too happy with her comments. Next scene has Nick planning his gift to Jessica: hiring California Closets (plug #1) to redo closet space so that everything will be less messy. The most shocking (well it shouldn't be, but it is) thing we see is the mess created by clothing strewn all over the floor. It's a wonder that we didn't see shock over the faces of the employees. It is unbelievable. And when Nick shows the employee his closet space, she's like "You have 2 feet and she has all of that?" Apparently, that wasn't all, because Jessica uses more space on the other side of the house.

Christmas this year will be split between Cincinnati and Waco, Texas. At the airport, Jessica discusses what she's giving, including a plasma TV for dad. Nick then mentions that he wants a sex guarantee for a year, 3x a week. Jessica agrees after a pause.

While in Cincinnati at Nick's grandma's place, Jessica isn't too enthused about trying mince meat pie. Meanwhile, Grannie is making sure that Nick isn't biting his nails. Nick facetiously adds that he's potty trained too. Meanwhile, work goes on in L.A., with the new closet taking place without Nick's supervision. Another point of mention is to avoid the anal glands of the black dog at the Lachey house.

We tune in next to Waco, Texas...home of the Simpsons. Where there's actually no snow on the ground. There's a decent showing of Frito Lay's Wavy Lays potato chips (plug #2). Jessica as usual wants to pay for someone while Nick wants to do it himself. So, Jessica just stands around watching everyone work into the evening. Meanwhile back in L.A., the hired help are busy rearranging all of Jessica's clothes for her new closet....sounds like maid service.

Christmas Eve is at Aunt Sally's house, still in Texas. It's venison for Christmas...freshly killed 3 weeks prior. It seems a bit boring for them to be there. And Jessica makes a deal with Nick to spend Christmas in L.A. next year.

Best Buy gift card, Ipods, a new car (replacing a mercedes), boots, bracelets...just a few of the items being given during Christmas. And a boxer trainer. The biggest surprise for all is when they get back into L.A. Jessica comes back to a beautifully done closet. So organized and modern. A very thoughtful present indeed. If only everyone could have a closet like that one.

Next week: Jessica's new line of cosmetics...edible too! But then, Jessica doesn't seem to be doing too well afterwards.